Blonde One-Liners (II)
Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you? A: Pull the pin and throw it back. Q: If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who hits the ground first? A: The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions. Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease? A: Her IQ goes up! Q: What is the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot? A: Bigfoot has been spotted. Q: What's the difference between a blond having her period and a terrorist? A: You can negotiate with a terrorist. Q: Why is a washing machine better than a blonde? A: Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it won't follow you around for a week. Q: What does a blond and a beer bottle have in common? A: They're both empty from the neck up. Q: Why did the deaf blond sit on a newspaper? A: So she could lip read. Q: How do you drown a blond? A: Put a mirror at the bottom of the pool. Q: How do you drown a blonde? A: Don't tell her to swallow. Q: Why did the blonde chick drown in the pool? A: Someone left a scratch and sniff at the bottom of the pool. Q: How many blondes does it take to make chocolate-chip cookies? A1: 10. One to mix the dough and nine to peel the smarties. A2: Three...one to mix the batter and two to squeeze the rabbit. Q: What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory? A: Proofreading. Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory? A: For throwing out the W's. Q: How do you tell if a blonde did your landscaping? A: The bushes are darker than the rest of the yard. Q: What's the Blonde's cheer? A: " I'm blonde, I'm blonde, I'm B.L.O.N....ah, oh well.. I'm blonde, I'm blonde, yea yea yea..." Q: Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month? A: Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds." Q: How did the blonde try to kill the bird? A: She threw it off a cliff. Q: Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle in only 6 months? A: Because on the box it said From 2-4 years. Q: How does a blonde high-5? A: She smacks herself in the forehead. Q: Why did the blonde go half way to Norway and then turn around and come home? A: It took her that long to discover that a 14 inch Viking was a television. Q: How do you describe a blonde, surrounded by drooling idiots? A: Flattered. Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the 11 in 9-1-1. Q: What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side? A: An interpreter. Q: What do you call a blonde between two brunettes? A: A mental block. Q: What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear? A: A wind tunnel. Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring. Q: What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes? A: Frosted Flakes. Q: What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer? A: Frosted Flakes. Q: What do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? A: Last year's hide-and-seek champ. Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head? A: A Space Invader. Q: What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? A: Branch Manager. Q: What do you call a smart blond? A: A labrador. Q: What did the blonde say when she looked into a box of Cheerios? A: "Oh look! Doughnut seeds!" Q: Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails? A: To cover up the valve stem. Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra? A: Spot. Q: What's a blonds' favourite rock group? A: Air Supply. Q: What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes? A: The back of her head. Q: Why do blondes drive VW's A: Because they can't spell PORSCHE!! Q: How do you make a blond laugh on Monday mornings? A: Tell them a joke on Friday night! Q: Why did God create blondes? A: Because sheep can't bring beer from the fridge. Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids? A: So they know if it is morning or afternoon. Q: Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ceiling? A: A blond electrician Q: Why are dumb blonde jokes so short? A1: So brunettes can remember them. A2: Because blonds are so SHALLOW a long joke wouldn't fit. Q: Why are blondes hurt by peoples words? A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries. Q: What did the blonde say to the physicist? A: "Why, I just _love_ nuclear fission! What do you use for bait?" Q: Why are blondes like cornflakes ? A: Because they're simple, easy and they taste good. Q: How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies? A: You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor. Q: How do you drive a blonde crazy? A: Give her a bag of M&Ms and tell her to alphabetise them. 
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